Doom and Gloom

I’m 6+4weeks pregnant and I’m definitely not enjoying myself. It’s got nothing to do with my symptoms. They aren’t that strong, I’m getting mild nausea every now and then, my sore boobs are on and off, I get a mild headache sometimes and the cramps are very much there.

I’m not enjoying it because I’m PETRIFIED something is going to happen. I’ve only been feeling like this for the last few days. Prior to this I was cautiously optimistic. Now I’m certain something bad is going to happen.

In my first pregnancy I was blissfully unaware of what can go wrong with pregnancy. I woke up every day smiling. I went about my day dreaming about my little ones future and I didn’t even blink an eye at the cramps I would get. Then all of a sudden, about a week before I was due for my 13 week ultrasound my world came crashing down. It was horrific and I’m really not ready to write down all of the detail. But in short, I ended up being admitted to hospital for 5 days, I got a blood infection, miscarried and it wasn’t pleasant. Suddenly my whole perception of what pregnancy was shattered and I was suddenly a realist.

My ultrasound is fast approaching. In 9 days I’ll be getting ready to go. I think this is what I’m so anxious about. I’ve only ever seen an empty womb on an ultrasound. The approach to an ultrasound spells doom

I have never wanted anything more than to see my healthy baby and its heart beating at my 8 week scan. I promise I will never ever ask for anything else ever again. Except for future healthy scans and a happy healthy full term pregnancy and baby.

I hope I can snap out of this doom and gloom mood and stop reading into every twinge and pull.

I should be grateful and I am. I am so grateful this ivf worked. But I’m too aware of the battle I could have in front of me. In not sure I could cope with another loss.

Xx

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5 weeks today

…and I peed on a stick this morning! I saw some FRERs on buy one get one free (in Boots if anyone is wondering!!) so I decided there and then I would test every Friday until my ultrasound!!

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The line came up in 4 seconds waaayy sooner than the control line and it’s so so much darker!! I’m happy about this progression!!!

As far as symptoms go. My boobs and nipples are hurting on and off. I’m bloated and tired. Still having the odd cramp and twinge but these are subsiding. And yesterday on the way back from work I got the worst nausea whilst sat on the bus. I had to get off early and go into the shop and get some crackers to eat. I was starving but these were all I could stomach. That hasn’t happened since.

Anyhooo it’s 6:40am and I need to get ready.’im working from home today but I have guests coming round so need to give the place a quick spritz!!

Lots of love

Xx

No beta!!

So my clinic called yesterday and congratulated me, and booked me in for an 8 week scan on 4th December.

When I asked about a blood test she said they don’t do them here in the UK. She said they would only do them if you had spotting or something else which would make you worried. Just to give you peace of mind. But the fact I’ve had a few positives and I’m not bleeding they are happy about.

Well, just the mere fact of going through IVF makes me think I deserve peace of mind!!

Plus I’ve been getting one or two pretty intense pains low down in my tummy that stop me in my track every day.

Anyone else getting this?

It’s mainly when ever I change position or need a wee really bad!

I might just phone my doctor instead, see if they can give me a slip for the hospital.

😀 :- D

And I guess I’ll have to keep taking tests for peace of mind instead. I’ll buy some more today. Good job I get paid in a week!! Haha

Xxx

Progression!! :-)

I haven’t been hiding, just waiting for my tests to get darker!! 🙂

I take my final hospital test tomorrow (11dp5dt) and then I’ll get booked in for my betas when I phone to say IM PREGNANT!!

I know I have a way to go. But after over 2 years I didn’t think this day would come.

Do not give up.

See you after my betas!!

Xx

Instagram: Girl2Mum

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This just happened….

It’s the evening of 6dp5dt….I caved and took a cheapy test at 5:30pm!

What do you think? I’m going to take an FRER tomorrow morning!!

We don’t want to get too excited right now….we are cautiously optimistic. But want a big stinking line in the next few days!!! 🙂

Xxx