He is here <3

My beautiful bundle of gorgeousness has arrived. 

Hugo was born at 8:19am 12th July weighing 7lb2oz  after 30 hours of labour that ended in a cesarean section. 

After having very little fluid surrounding him for the last few weeks of his pregnancy, the decision was made to induce on Friday 10th July when it was found all of the waters had disappeared. 

I started the labour how I had planned, drug free only starting on gas and air after I reached 4cm. Things were progressing nicely until after almost 20 hours of labour I was only 5cm. After being put on the hormone drip the consultant said I had to have an epidural because of the increased pain and the inevitable path I was travelling down. My OH nearly passed out went the Dr inserted the line slightly off and my leg jerked all over the place. He said he was so worried for me. The worst thing about the epidural was that I had to stay completely still while he did it even if a contraction was there. Absolute agony!!! After the epidural was in – complete serenity!! 

At 7:30am 12/07 the decision was made for an emergency section as I was still only at 6cm. By this point I just wanted him here but the shock of what was about to happen hit me massively. I signed the piece of paper stating the risks (the death word was used!!!) and they whisked me away. The epidural was topped up and away they went. My mouth was so freaking dry and I couldn’t breath through my nose due to the amount of crying I had done. 

A section is bizarre. You feel it but you don’t feel it. Anyway once Hugo was brought into this world they brought him to me for some skin to skin and that’s when I realised I couldn’t move my arms. I couldn’t feel any of me. I couldn’t feel my baby. 

I had to be whisked away to a recovery room where they tired to understand what went wrong. Whilst my baby was sent to labour ward with Daddy! They took my little man away from me!! Now to cut a long story short the feeling came back eventually and Daddy and baby came to visit me pretty quickly demanding a first booby feed. I was so relieved to see them walking in to recovery.!! 

I set the record for returning home the day after my cesarean!! Go us! 

Anyway he’s demanding another feed!! Babies are hard work!!! But I’ll leave you with a picture of the most handsome little boy in the world.  
(First hair wash)


(Posing with his bunny comforter) 


Love to you all!! Xx

Thank you for following my journey. Xxx


Nearing the end…

Hi folks

Just a quick update to say we are currently 36+5 days pregnant!! 

I went for a routine scan yesterday to check the position of the placenta and I’m pleased to say it’s nice and high away from my cervix!! However they also saw something else….the fluid levels around baby are super low. 4.5cm which is below the 5th centile. After they saw this they hooked me up for a CTG to check baby wasn’t too stressed. He wasn’t, just chilling out enjoy the last few days/weeks of pregnancy. If he was showing any signs of distress I’d have been straight in for an induction. Instead, I’m booked in for a rescan on 2nd July. If the fluid is the same or lower then I’ll be having little man a couple of weeks earlier than expected!! 

Arghhh I don’t feel ready!! Will I ever feel ready? Probably not!

Anyway they also took some measurements which predict that little chunk is currently coming in at a lovely 6lbs 9oz!! Perfect chunky monkey!! 

I’ve now got a whole week of stressing to do until the next scan. 

In other news…I’ve been on maternity leave for 3 days!!!! I’m enjoying the rest as sleep is pretty much non existent now. I’m spending all of my awake time putting the finishing touches to his nursery and washing his diddy little clothes!

Until next time…. 🙂 



We’re still here :-) 33 week update

Lots and lots has happened since I last posted. I’ve got bigger for one. And with bigger has come stretch marks. Not many but they are there….in my hips and inner thighs. I can cope with these. All for my little monster. 🙂 

I’m very very tired. I just want to sleep all of the time. Mainly the reason I haven’t blogged in ages. I can’t get around to moving my fingers quick enough to type! 
The little dude had a 4D scan and 28+4 weeks and he’s adorable! Honestly the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen. Here are a few pics for you to coo over….

See I told you! He was sleepy during the scan and was resting against his arm the entire time. The technician was also able to tell us he has hair!! 🙂 my OH had hair when he was born. I was a baldy.

I had to make a trip to the day assessment centre a couple of weeks ago. His movements reduced dramatically. He just wasn’t behaving in his usual way. They hooked me up to a machine for an NST only to tell me he was perfectly fine. I felt a couple of movements whilst there too. She felt his position and she confirmed that he had moved back to back and a lot of his movements were now being cushioned be my placenta. Safe to say I’m now spending a lot of time on all fours to bring him back round to a more birth friendly position. I do not want a back to back labour. I’m convinced I want to do this labour business with as little pain relief as possible. I expect to be in pain – millions of people do this every day and I want to see how much my body is capable of doing. I don’t think I’d be brave enough though with a back to back baby. 

In other news….perineal massage!! WTF???! That shit hurts man!! If I can’t cope with a little massage “down there” then how on earth am I supposed to push a blummin head out of it?? Please tell me it’s as bad for you all as I have found it to be!! I’m blaming OH for doing it wrong!! Haha he gets the blame for everything these days!

Well that’s the update for now. Hopefully you’ll here from me in a few weeks. I finish work in 3 weeks so I’m hoping I’ll get a bit more energy back. 

I’m still keeping up with all of your journies though. It’s been lovely to see some of your miracle babies being born over the last couple of months. And lots of BFPs too!! And for those of you still waiting. Keep your faith….miracles really do happen. We are here for you. 


Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned….

……its been 5 weeks since my last blog post!!

So – after promising to blog weekly…i haven’t! 😦 for this I apologise. I have been crazily busy with my projects at work and time seriously is flying. For this I am grateful only 14 weeks to go. Woohoo! 

How Far Along?: 26 weeks! 6 months! 1 week away from the 3rd trimester!! 

Baby is the size of: Well Im not sure…apparently it could be a papaya, or a butternut squash, or a lettuce. These food sizes aren’t very standard. What I think is becoming clear is that I will have a little baby. At my 25 week midwife appointment my sfh was 24cm and against my personalised GROW chart this is way under the 5th centile. So I went back worried yesterday and got measured again…my sfh has grown 1cm in a week….and has brought me just on the 5th centile so I am happy about that. Going back again in a week just to make sure the progression is nice and strong. Rather a 6lb baby than a 10lber any day! :-p 

Total Weight Gain: Haven’t a clue – and Im not bothered about knowing either. All I know is that Im eating healthy(ish) and haven’t become obese yet….

My boobs are ginormous…I have outgrown even my hurrendous 34H bra (which I got in December where I had jumped from a nice 30FF!!)

Maternity Clothes?:Oh yes…Im forever on the lookout for flattering maternity clothes. Ive ordered quite a lot online…but also send a lot of it back. Its getting harder now the weather is getting warmer. I need to tan my legs and get some pretty dresses. But I really don’t do pale milky legs! yak! 

Also if anyone would like to invent maternity shoes I would be very grateful. I can not be bothered to go shoe shopping but have no option. I couldn’t go to work a couple of weeks ago because I couldn’t get my bloody foot into any of my shoes or boots. I can’t go to work in trainers or flip flops!! Working from home has been my life saver! I bought a pair of flat shoes last week (I’m short and do not do flat but haven’t an option right now) in 2 sizes bigger than I am…my feet are growing…they don’t look swollen yet but something funky is definitely happening!

 Stretch Marks?: Not yet – thanks body. Although varicose veins are my new thing. I feel like I have them on my upper thighs. But only when I am stood up. How do I get rid of these? Another reason for getting my legs all tanned…a tan is the best way of losing weight and hiding imperfections on the legs!! 

Sleep?: Broken – Its hard to turn and the frequent trips to the loo have started making an appearance again. Carpal tunnel is making my hands painful. My left hand is the worst and a couple of my fingers are now permanently numb. its bizarre and awkward.

Best Moment This Week?: Best moment of the last 5 weeks has been seeing my bump grow and buying little mans bedding. Im in love with all of his baby things. 

Movement?: Yes…but he has quiet days which scare the shit out of me. Some days he can be moving non stop and other days I feel the odd poke here and there. Im going to start documenting his movements every day to try and spot a pattern. 

Food Cravings?: Just give me all of the food in the world please. Ill eat it all and still have space for more. 

Anything making you queasy?: Just the sight of my pale slightly plump legs. Also I seriously need to start working on my arms…theyre getting soft!! Ive signed up to pregnancy yoga…just waiting for someone to give birth so I can have a space!! 

Baby Bump?: Yes…Its growing! Its changed shape recently though. I think he has changed position which may be the reason I feel his movements less sometimes. 

Gender Prediction?: Oh Im going to give a good guess at a boy. 

Labor Signs?: Noooo.

Belly Button In or Out?: Still in. I had a very deep belly button…its now almost flat. It won’t be long until it has fully popped! 🙂 

Wedding Rings on or off?: They come off on an evening. And sometimes if I set off for work early I can’t get them on. So annoying….I love my ring and feel naked without it. 

Happy or Moody?: Happy! lol – Think SO would add a “most of the time” to this

Miss Anything?: Being able to shave….being able to put my shoes on….being able to walk up stairs without feeling like passing out.

Looking forward to?: Entering the 3rd trimester!! And seeing my boy for his 4d scan in a couple of weeks!! 

Well there you go…Im not going to promise to come back in a week because Im obviously rubbish at keeping promises. 

Lots of love xx

21 Weeks!! And the anatomy scan!

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I have been a bit absent on here recently….no other excuse except for laziness! :-/

I have steam rollered into the 21st week of pregnancy. It has been pretty uneventful thankfully. I had one episode where I was getting constant headaches along with quite a bit of pain in the area of my liver so I took myself to the pregnancy unit. It turned out to be nothing but I am glad I went to get that peace of mind.

Yesterday I had my 20 week anatomy scan. I was so nervous for it. For some reason I had convinced myself that the little man had a cleft lip…those early 4D scans are scary!! Now please don’t get me wrong….there are a lot worse things that could happen and I was fearful for those too…but I want my boy to be perfect in every way and this was a real fear of mine.

We were called in to the scan room at 10:20 yesterday and I jumped straight onto the bed and got ready to see my boy again. He was (is) just wonderfully perfect in every way. He has all the correct bits in all the correct places. My heart melted. The monographer was lovely….she did go far too silent as she was checking his heart for 20 mins. The heart I could see on the screen did not look like an anatomical heart you’d expect to see in a text book. The silence was frightening. It wasn’t until she got me to lay on my side that I saw the 4 chambers I had been waiting to see! ❤ His beautiful gorgeous little heart.

He was moving so much…my SO couldn’t believe how much he moves…Ive been telling him all about the kicks and using my bladder as a trampoline but I think he thinks Ive been exaggerating a little bit. I have not. He likes to move. Im still to see his movements – I can’t wait for this to happen. I often sit and stare and my now rather large tummy in anticipation of this event. Talking about the bump…it really is huge….my belly button is about to pop. I love every part of my pregnant self.

The only significant thing to come out of the scan was that I have a low lying placenta. It 2 cm away from my cervix. It means I have to go for another scan at 32 weeks. Hopefully its moved up so I can avoid having to have a cesarean.

I want to start doing the “bump date” type blogs so intend to do that here and TRY every week up until the B-Day 🙂

How Far Along?: 21 Weeks!!

Baby is the size of: Cantaloupe (or any other fruit in fact…each pregnancy app says something different!! Im just glad he is growing)

Total Weight Gain: Haven’t a clue – and Im not bothered about knowing either. All I know is that Im eating healthy(ish) and haven’t become obese yet….I think Im probably classed as overweight but I blame the size of my boobs.

Maternity Clothes?: Its all I feel comfortable in now…and they make my bump look super cute! 🙂

Stretch Marks?: Not yet – thanks body.

Sleep?: Broken – Its hard to turn and the frequent trips to the loo have started making an appearance again.

Best Moment This Week?: Seeing and hearing how perfect my little one is growing.

Movement?: Its becoming more and more. I seemed to feel him a lot around 16/17 weeks…and then it decreased for a couple of weeks. Now the movements are a lot more frequent and a lot more stronger. 🙂 I have an anterior placenta so that could be the reason for the lull at 18/19 weeks.

Food Cravings?: Just food in general….all types of food. Small food…large food….healthy food….fatty food….bright food…dull food….carbs….fruit…..sweets and meat. Just give me all food.

Anything making you queasy?: Not anymore 😉

Baby Bump?: I might be biased but I have the cutest little bump. People can tell Im pregnant and not just large.

Gender Prediction?: Oh Im going to give a good guess at a boy.

Labor Signs?: Noooo

Belly Button In or Out?: Still in. I had a very deep belly button…its now almost flat. It won’t be long until it has fully popped. Cant.wait!!

Wedding Rings on or off?: On – but last night my fingers swelled quite a lot…I might start taking them off in the evening.

Happy or Moody?: Happy! lol – Think SO would add a “most of the time” to this.

Miss Anything?: Nope

Looking forward to?: Reaching 24 weeks! And going to Kiddicare and Baby’s ‘R’ us tomorrow!! woohoo!

Thanks for reading! 😉


XXIX.I.MMXV – dreams come true part 1 <3

Where to start….??

I have had the craziest few days. Today writing this I am 16+3 weeks pregnant. And I found out this little ones gender yesterday!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

But I’m not going to start there. I’m going to start with Thursday 29th January.

On this day 12 years ago, as a 14 year old school girl, my boyfriend became my boyfriend!! It was an awkward affair, I basically asked him when he was going to officially ask me and he wasn’t happy that I’d spoiled the surprise of a few days time. He was going to ask me on Friday apparently and I rushed him on the Wednesday! Ha! Anyway. He became my boyfriend. And that’s the way it has been for 12 whole years. We’ve finished school together, college, 2 degrees, 1 masters, moved house 8 times, lived in 5 different counties, been through 2 rounds of IVF and now have a baby on the way.

Well Thursday was a day like every other. We swapped cards in the morning, no gifts (as it’s something we promise not to do as we get so much for each other through the year), then I went to work.

I did put half a day of leave in because SO had the whole day off and we planned to get a takeaway and watch films all evening.

I came home, and snoozed on the couch whilst cuddled into his chest. We took the dog out for a walk and then I sat down planning what I was going to order for takeaway. At which point, I was called into the bedroom. I was met by a new outfit and a note on the bed which read

Hungry? Well you’d better get ready then!

I was confused!! What about our takeaway? And why? And what on earth!!?? With a childish grin spread across my face! I asked a lot of questions. Where are we going? Do I look nice in this maternity top from Topshop you got me in a size smaller than I would have got? What’s the dress code like? What type of food are we having??

He said it was a lot posher than Nandos but not quite as posh as a restaurant we went to for out 10 year anniversary “coq’d’argent” . That left a lot of scope in between.

It was time to set off. We took the bus into central London, getting off at Waterloo Station. We walked (well I waddled) past lots of lovely bars and restaurants and then down onto the river Thames. We passed quite a few places which I thought were good contenders. We continued down the Thames until we got to the OXO Tower. Whoah…definitely wasn’t expecting this.

We took the elevator to the 8th floor and I was met by a pristine host in an ever so shiny entrance. We proceeded into the bar area and ordered mocktails (haha). Soon our table was ready!! A window seat with views of St Paul’s and all that surrounds it. It was spectacular. But this wasn’t the only thing that I couldn’t stop looking at as we approached our table….12 beautiful red velvet roses sat on the table. Apparently this wasn’t usual as the all of the waiting staff were looking over as I sat down! It was so beautiful!! The meal the company and the conversation. Reminiscing about our childhoods together. Just perfect. A lady was playing the piano that night and she sang Yellow by Coldplay and this will always remind me of this perfect night.

After the meal we walked towards the Tate further along the Thames and SO started talking about our trip to Paris and how we didn’t get to put a padlock on the love lock bridge. So we were going to do it on the Millennium bridge instead.

The lock had the writing on both sides …

When it all began….XXIX.I.MMIII

XXIX.I.MMXV….A new adventure begins

We made a wish after locking it, sneakily to the bridge and threw 2 of the keys into the river. It was just magical. I had cried with happiness at least 5 times at this point in the evening. My man had gone to all of this trouble for our last anniversary as a couple.

We carried on walking across the bridge and it started to snow. We stopped and took in the view of breathtaking London at night time. My SO made a comment about not being able to see the stars in the sky….but that it was ok because he had brought my very own star along.

It is at this point, he got down on one knee, with the magnificent St Paul’s Cathedral as a backdrop. And asked me to Marry him.

Will you Marry me?

I’m not entirely sure what happened from here on in because I was drunk on happiness and shock and just WOW!

Ermm of course I will!!

I giggled childishly with my eyes wide, wondering what I had done to deserve such a wonderful man. I can’t think of a better way of spending the rest of my life than with him by my side.

The ring is stunning. It really does shine as bright as a star. I couldn’t have chose a more perfect ring.


So now, I no longer have a boyfriend. I have myself the most kind, caring, and gorgeously handsome fiancé in all of the world. ❤


10+3 weeks

Today we went for our private scan. The last scan we have was at 7+6 days and baby was measuring right on track. Well today was no different, baby measuring 3.6cm which keeps our EDD at 17/07/15.

It was definitely the most amazing thing we have ever seen. As soon as the technician put the device on my tummy you could see the gorgeous little thing swimming about inside of me. It was surreal. DH squeezed my hand so tight and I welled up with emotion.

I got to see and hear its little heart beating away at 162bpm. Just wow!!

I’m actually speechless. I don’t really know what to write. I just wanted to update you all with how things are going. It was truly incredible.

I think I will let myself enjoy this as much as possible now. I have my next scan in 2-3 weeks with the NHS and I’ll be back with an update then.

But before I go I just wanted to say thank you to everyone of you for being such a massive support to me. I’m using my Christmas wish on you all this year.

Have a merry Christmas everyone!!