Nearing the end…

Hi folks

Just a quick update to say we are currently 36+5 days pregnant!! 

I went for a routine scan yesterday to check the position of the placenta and I’m pleased to say it’s nice and high away from my cervix!! However they also saw something else….the fluid levels around baby are super low. 4.5cm which is below the 5th centile. After they saw this they hooked me up for a CTG to check baby wasn’t too stressed. He wasn’t, just chilling out enjoy the last few days/weeks of pregnancy. If he was showing any signs of distress I’d have been straight in for an induction. Instead, I’m booked in for a rescan on 2nd July. If the fluid is the same or lower then I’ll be having little man a couple of weeks earlier than expected!! 

Arghhh I don’t feel ready!! Will I ever feel ready? Probably not!

Anyway they also took some measurements which predict that little chunk is currently coming in at a lovely 6lbs 9oz!! Perfect chunky monkey!! 

I’ve now got a whole week of stressing to do until the next scan. 

In other news…I’ve been on maternity leave for 3 days!!!! I’m enjoying the rest as sleep is pretty much non existent now. I’m spending all of my awake time putting the finishing touches to his nursery and washing his diddy little clothes!

Until next time…. 🙂 



10+3 weeks

Today we went for our private scan. The last scan we have was at 7+6 days and baby was measuring right on track. Well today was no different, baby measuring 3.6cm which keeps our EDD at 17/07/15.

It was definitely the most amazing thing we have ever seen. As soon as the technician put the device on my tummy you could see the gorgeous little thing swimming about inside of me. It was surreal. DH squeezed my hand so tight and I welled up with emotion.

I got to see and hear its little heart beating away at 162bpm. Just wow!!

I’m actually speechless. I don’t really know what to write. I just wanted to update you all with how things are going. It was truly incredible.

I think I will let myself enjoy this as much as possible now. I have my next scan in 2-3 weeks with the NHS and I’ll be back with an update then.

But before I go I just wanted to say thank you to everyone of you for being such a massive support to me. I’m using my Christmas wish on you all this year.

Have a merry Christmas everyone!!



Miracles do happen…..

Today was hands down THE BEST day of my entire life.

Today we got to meet little m&m for the first time.

All day I have been feeling sick to the stomach with nerves. How could things possibly turn out ok? My luck with fertility is pretty poor. I’ve never seen my baby on an ultrasound so that’s what was going to happen today. I think I was just preparing myself for the worst.

We got to the clinic early and sat quietly in a surprisingly empty clinic. I wonder if they are preparing to be closed over Christmas?

I could hear my heart beating. I’m pretty sure everyone else could too. Finally my name was called and we entered the ever so familiar room. The nurse asked me how I was feeling….”pretty fucking crap and shit scared” is what I wanted to say. Instead she got an “ok, but nervous, very very nervous” I was then instructed to go behind the curtain and strip from the waist down as per usual protocol.

I laid there, feet in stirrups looking at the wide eyes of my other half as he tells me everything is going to be ok. I squeeze his hand so tight as the nurse warns me “the jelly might be cold”.

I can’t look.

I begin to cry.

“There you go, here’s your little baby measuring just as it should 7 weeks and 6 days, here’s the umbilical cord aaaand here, well here is its heart beating”

I sob and bawl. I’m hysterical. Oh thank you thank you thank you for answering my prayers and keeping my little miracle safe. It was truly beautiful. I have moments of crying even now.

I am so in love.

Today is a very good day. The best day. And I pray that each and every one of you get to experience this magic for yourselves one day. It will happen, never ever give up.



Lots of love and babydust


Doom and Gloom

I’m 6+4weeks pregnant and I’m definitely not enjoying myself. It’s got nothing to do with my symptoms. They aren’t that strong, I’m getting mild nausea every now and then, my sore boobs are on and off, I get a mild headache sometimes and the cramps are very much there.

I’m not enjoying it because I’m PETRIFIED something is going to happen. I’ve only been feeling like this for the last few days. Prior to this I was cautiously optimistic. Now I’m certain something bad is going to happen.

In my first pregnancy I was blissfully unaware of what can go wrong with pregnancy. I woke up every day smiling. I went about my day dreaming about my little ones future and I didn’t even blink an eye at the cramps I would get. Then all of a sudden, about a week before I was due for my 13 week ultrasound my world came crashing down. It was horrific and I’m really not ready to write down all of the detail. But in short, I ended up being admitted to hospital for 5 days, I got a blood infection, miscarried and it wasn’t pleasant. Suddenly my whole perception of what pregnancy was shattered and I was suddenly a realist.

My ultrasound is fast approaching. In 9 days I’ll be getting ready to go. I think this is what I’m so anxious about. I’ve only ever seen an empty womb on an ultrasound. The approach to an ultrasound spells doom

I have never wanted anything more than to see my healthy baby and its heart beating at my 8 week scan. I promise I will never ever ask for anything else ever again. Except for future healthy scans and a happy healthy full term pregnancy and baby.

I hope I can snap out of this doom and gloom mood and stop reading into every twinge and pull.

I should be grateful and I am. I am so grateful this ivf worked. But I’m too aware of the battle I could have in front of me. In not sure I could cope with another loss.


5 weeks today

…and I peed on a stick this morning! I saw some FRERs on buy one get one free (in Boots if anyone is wondering!!) so I decided there and then I would test every Friday until my ultrasound!!


The line came up in 4 seconds waaayy sooner than the control line and it’s so so much darker!! I’m happy about this progression!!!

As far as symptoms go. My boobs and nipples are hurting on and off. I’m bloated and tired. Still having the odd cramp and twinge but these are subsiding. And yesterday on the way back from work I got the worst nausea whilst sat on the bus. I had to get off early and go into the shop and get some crackers to eat. I was starving but these were all I could stomach. That hasn’t happened since.

Anyhooo it’s 6:40am and I need to get ready.’im working from home today but I have guests coming round so need to give the place a quick spritz!!

Lots of love


No beta!!

So my clinic called yesterday and congratulated me, and booked me in for an 8 week scan on 4th December.

When I asked about a blood test she said they don’t do them here in the UK. She said they would only do them if you had spotting or something else which would make you worried. Just to give you peace of mind. But the fact I’ve had a few positives and I’m not bleeding they are happy about.

Well, just the mere fact of going through IVF makes me think I deserve peace of mind!!

Plus I’ve been getting one or two pretty intense pains low down in my tummy that stop me in my track every day.

Anyone else getting this?

It’s mainly when ever I change position or need a wee really bad!

I might just phone my doctor instead, see if they can give me a slip for the hospital.

😀 :- D

And I guess I’ll have to keep taking tests for peace of mind instead. I’ll buy some more today. Good job I get paid in a week!! Haha


Progression!! :-)

I haven’t been hiding, just waiting for my tests to get darker!! 🙂

I take my final hospital test tomorrow (11dp5dt) and then I’ll get booked in for my betas when I phone to say IM PREGNANT!!

I know I have a way to go. But after over 2 years I didn’t think this day would come.

Do not give up.

See you after my betas!!


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